ARIES (March 21-April 19) Yippee. I love Venus in my sign again. Who cares if it’s retro, it’s MINE. It is Spring and I am surely sprung. There is no shame in my game and I want to make love in every way possible and there is no time like the present. Patiently waiting is for those who lack courage and inspiration. Be here NOW with me.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Flower power turns me on as my eyes feast on the orgy of color that Mother Nature provides right outside my window. Magentas, reds, and pinks with blazing oranges. Place my lover in the midst of that picture and that’s what I call ecstasy. Add some bubbly & dark chocolate and stir for a healing elixir of life.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Everybody’s talking and nobody’s saying anything and I ought to know because no one can turn a phrase to slip out the back like I can. I could wax poetic about the moon or croon a tune to excite and delight but what I really need is some deep connected communication. Hell, I’ll even get metaphysical if it will help get me into a good conversation and I don’t even care which side of the issue you take.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) When all is said and done, there is something so stabilizing about a good home cooked meal with one’s friends and family. When I look about my cozy nest, I feel a deep satisfaction that money can’t buy and rich beyond measure. By adopting this attitude of gratitude my world expands from this solid inner core of peace and contentment. The storms may come and go but my sea remains calm.

LEO (July 23-August 22) I can feel pretty feisty most days but lately I feel like I am only partially engaged. With all of those Aquarian energies abounding I am quite out of my element. I don’t want to think and talk I want more action and passion. When Venus gets her head turned around on the 18th, I will be on the prowl again and feeling very frisky.

VIRGO (August 23-September 22) It’s not that I am afraid to take a chance at love, it’s just that I find so many reasons why relationships are just too much trouble. They mess up your house, can keep you from writing the next great American novel, you can’t read in bed and damn, they are just not perfect. All that being said, I am getting way sick of my own company and it may well be time to…gulp…go on a date.

LIBRA (September 23-October 22) When it comes to the Law of Attraction, I have it made. I know just how to attract anything and make you feel like you are the only important thing in my world. The only problem is that sometimes I attract one too many and have to choose. Therein lies the rub. I am lousy at decision making and can make the very ones that I treasure mad at me. I hate when that happens because I need everyone to like me at least a little.

SCORPIO (October 23-November 21) I don’t know if it’s just my perverse nature but I am finding myself somewhat amused by the pirating and discovery caused by the bailouts. I mean how dumb do these corporate mobsters think that we are? The Sopranos couldn’t hustle the bucks more dishonestly on the streets of Jersey than these dudes in their newly remodeled boardrooms! OK, now that I have released my bile, let’s climb back in bed.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21) I am feeling so much freer than I can remember in many moons. I don’t want to process our foreign policy or the mystical treatise on other dimensions. I’d much rather float in the kozmic bliss of enlightenment where there are no boundaries and no constraints. Crank up my magic carpet or at least put some gas in the old broom and let’s blow this pop stand.

CAPRICORN (December 22-Janaury 19) I am so glad that Pluto is in my sign now as it will kick serious butt to those who have not learned to play by the rules. I mean I work my tail off everyday with the kind of work ethic that would make anyone proud and dammit nobody should feel like they are above the law. I would love to see some overflowing white collar crime prisons where they actually have to work for a meal.

AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18) There are still so many planets competing for my attention and it makes my normally quirky behavior even quirkier if such a thing is possible. I feel like a rebel with too many causes and one can only fold so many newsletters. Studying my astrological chart feels like one of the few places where I can feel a measure of wholeness and serenity.

PISCES (February 19-March 20) Sometimes the outer world just feels insane. Too much tension and strife when you mix it up out in the marketplace. Fortunately my world offers me much more as I journey to the far reaches of the 7 Dimensions. If the first 3 get you down, try dimension four or five. It works for me and provides me with limitless opportunities for elevation and creativity.

Click here to read Overview: Read Horoscope for April 2009.